May 8, 2007

Despair

Summer is here again, and it is killing me.

But, before I go on, let me tell you a little about myself. I am twelve years old. Like a normal child I was growing well and life seemed a breeze. I was well taken care of and had nothing to complain of. Oh! I forgot to tell you the most important thing - I am a tree, an apple tree to be more precise.

It was a bunch of us that were planted together and we had a good time growing up. Then after the hard winter two years back, I never grew my leaves back again. I was given special care and attention, but nothing has helped me till now and I am fast losing hope.

Surrounded by trees with fresh, green leaves, I feel so miserable. I don’t want to, really I don’t. I want to rejoice in the happiness that surrounds me. I want to sway with the wind as it blows through the leaves of my fellow trees. But I can’t.

My misery, unbearable in itself, stands out even more so when every tree around me seems radiant and fresh and green. I have wished for death, for men to cut me down for I am useless. And yet, they care for me and try to make me live. I should thank them and rejoice, but I can’t because it all seems to me an act of merely delaying the inevitable.

And yet, hope lurks somewhere. Every time I feel the sap rushing through me, I hope for a leaf. It hasnt come yet. Maybe one spring it will or maybe I will not be alive to see that spring.

But, whatever happens, I am lonely this moment, even though I am surrounded by happiness, joy , summer and my friends with leaves and flowers
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4 comments:

Squirrel said...

Awww poor little tree! What a grand post, Blue Panther!

Sandy Carlson said...

Perhaps this is Beckett's tree that forms the center of the tramps' universe or Silverstein's giving tree that finds blessedness in every moment. Perhaps we are all that tree.

Nellie said...

What a story!! or example. It reminds me of how I see my Mom's life now. She is 96 and has no real life now other than eating a little, visits from her children, a few spoken words now and then. Her mind still seems ok, just very little verbalization. She is totally dependent.

Blue Panther said...

Squirrel: poor and unlucky!

Sandy: We all are that tree indeed.

Nellie: Thanks for taking the time to comment!

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