July 1, 2007

BYBS - Forgiveness

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To Err is Human, to Forgive Divine

Or so goes a famous saying that, I am sure, most of us must have heard at some point of our life or another. But, like many other famous sayings, we hardly practice what we preach.

Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone forgives or gets forgiven. A mistake can become the reason for a relationship to go sour or for the best of friends to become sworn enemies. Forgiving, on the other hand, can turn enemies into best friends.

When a person makes a mistake, he sometimes tries to defend what he did and instead of seeking forgiveness he tries to justify his actions. He feels that asking for forgiveness will somehow make him seem weak or smaller from the other’s person’s perspective. So, he holds on to his false pride and makes the second mistake of defending his first mistake.

When a person is wronged, he finds it very difficult to try and forgive the wrongdoer. Though sometimes the wrong may be too grievous to be forgiven, but more often than not we take to heart something which we can easily forgive or understand if we look at it from the erring person’s point of view.

Forgiveness is a true blessing both to the person who forgives and to the one who is forgiven. One who seeks forgiveness realizes that he has done something wrong and needs to make amends for it. Just the act of his seeking forgiveness is an indicator of the fact that he will try and make an effort not to repeat his mistake. If he gets forgiven, he makes a new friend and he feels blessed to have been provided with a second chance.

When one forgives, he is ready to let go of the ill will that he has for the other person. He also accepts the action of the other as a thing of the past that has no bearing on the future, if he does not forgive, the snake of revenge will lie coiled in his heart and mind waiting for an opportunity to strike. Such a man cannot be a happy man. Forgiving will turn the snake into a dove.

In my life I have made many mistakes, small ones as well as big ones. Initially I focused on the part that says “To Err is Human”. I was a human and I was bound to make mistakes and that was it. I expected the other person to understand that without myself saying anything. But then I realized that until one says something, the other person cannot know that you repent doing what you did, and that you are truly sorry for it. Understanding that, I have always tried to seek forgiveness whenever I have done something wrong and if someone had wronged me, I have tried to forgive them without their asking for it (… though if I say that I have successfully forgiven everyone, I would be lying).


Sandy Carlson said...

Happy BYB Sunday. Great post. Thich Nhat Hanh's book on forgiveness got the concept through to me in a practical, meaningful way. So often we're taught if we recognize the pain someone has caused us we're not forgiving and we are therefore bad. This throws the onus back on the aggrieved party. Better to recognize what has happened for what it is and resolve not to let it darken your soul. Then forgiving becomes practical--and then it can become real in terms of compassion and loving relationships.

Sue said...

I think one of the hardest challenges we as humans face is forgiveness, and it is a very courageous person to truly forgive certain things. Very good post! Happy BYBS!

Marilyn said...

Great post.

Lorna said...

Happy BYB Sunday. I have found that the older I get, the easier it is to forgive. With age comes wisdom.............yes. :-)

CyberCelt said...

Forgiving is easier when the person is still among the living. It is the ones that hurt us and passed on without the issue being resolved that is hardest to deal with.

Blue Panther said...

Sandy: Very true!

Sue: I agree, forgiving is one of the hardest things to do.
Happy BYB Sunday to you too!

Marilyn: Thank you! I am glad you like it.

Lorna:With age comes wisdom

It does, but sometimes age makes us adamant and we refuse to forgive or seek forgiveness.

Happy BYB Sunday and have a great week ahead.

CyberCelt: True indeed!

MsDemmie said...

Great message.

Happy belated BYB Sunday

Suresh S said...

Excellent work dear and keep it up.... http://traditionalkerala.blogspot.com/

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