Sometimes we can help ourselves best by trying to help others. This might sound strange at first, but I realised the other day that there was great truth in the statement.
For example, let us say that one of your friends is having a problem and he comes to you for advice. Now you have two options. You pretend to listen to him, you nod your head, and when he is finished, you say that you sympathise with him, but there is really nothing you have to say to him. He leaves, you leave and no one is the better for it.
Or, you actually listen to him, think about his situation and genuinely offer him your best advice. Now, when you are telling him what he should do, you realise that you are in a somewhat similar situation, but you have not done what you are asking your friend to do.
I think it is because when we are telling others what to do, we take an idealist view of things, and often tell them the best thing to do, without considering the costs involved. But, when we are thinking for ourselves, we are more practical, and try to find the best solution that will suffice, and not the best solution that there is.
Thus, when we try to help others, we think of the problem from a perspective that we did not realise even existed. Do you agree?
For example, let us say that one of your friends is having a problem and he comes to you for advice. Now you have two options. You pretend to listen to him, you nod your head, and when he is finished, you say that you sympathise with him, but there is really nothing you have to say to him. He leaves, you leave and no one is the better for it.
Or, you actually listen to him, think about his situation and genuinely offer him your best advice. Now, when you are telling him what he should do, you realise that you are in a somewhat similar situation, but you have not done what you are asking your friend to do.
I think it is because when we are telling others what to do, we take an idealist view of things, and often tell them the best thing to do, without considering the costs involved. But, when we are thinking for ourselves, we are more practical, and try to find the best solution that will suffice, and not the best solution that there is.
Thus, when we try to help others, we think of the problem from a perspective that we did not realise even existed. Do you agree?
3 comments:
i believe that helping those in need is subjected to one's limitations.
Yes, I do agree. It is always an education to discover whether or not we can or would take our own advice!
These days I don't ask or give much advice. I find listening lets a person walk him or herself right out of the tangle and into a clear solution.
lol all my friends are dead. you got my BOB Vote! :)
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