September 14, 2008

BYBS : Guilt

(To join Blog Your Blessings Sunday, and get your name on the blogroll, click on the banner above and follow the simple instructions.)

Recently, I attended a lecture where the speaker was telling about how we tend to carry the weight of guilt on our shoulders, long after the deed has been done. Sometimes the weight of guilt stays with us even after the deed has been forgotten by one and all. This weight does us no good, but hampers our effectiveness in more ways than one.

For a while, I completely agreed with the speaker. I still do. But there is another aspect of guilt that makes me feel that guilt is a very necessary human emotion.

The guilt, I am talking about here, can be defined as : "Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong" (from

I find this to be a very good definition as it implies that when we feel guilty we are aware that we have done something wrong, and thus we regret our actions. Taking this a step further, it would mean that if given a second chance, we would not do things the way that we did the first time around. So, the feeling of guilt is the first step on the way to self-correction, and improvement. Wouldn't you agree?

And if you are wondering : why this post about guilt? The answer is not far to find - I feel guilty for missing out on the BYB Sunday post last week. Not that this was the first time (or will be the last time) that I missed a BYB post, but last week I had no real reason to not post a BYB post...unless laziness is a reason that is real enough. :o)

P.S. : I am sure all of us, who do BYB on a regular basis, have noticed that many blogs on the blogroll have stopped doing BYB for a long time now. I was wondering if I should take them off the BYB blogroll? Any suggestions, or comments on the subject are very welcome!


SandyCarlson said...

Guilt is a heavy weight, isn't it Neo? It's a blessing to recognize it and dump the load, I think.

There are folks on the blogroll who haven't participated in a very long time. I think it would be helpful for the active participants if they were off the list.

PERBS said...

I missed you last week! At least on your blogroll, you can tell if someone (except for you) updated their blog. I used to go to everybody over and over again. Now a days, I think I go to about 7 people.

Do you have their emails? I think an email would be good before you delete or at least a comment in their latest post.

A blogger friend I visit decided to post a blessing last week but I didn't see you add her to the blogroll. I know she went to your site because her link back was to the page where you have the rules.
I haven't looked to see if she posted again this week.

I missed a couple times but think I always put a note that I couldn't post that week. Been doing it for 44 weeks now -- thanks for starting it.


PERBS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nellie said...

Guilt is a heavy load but is often needed to realize and recover from actions or words causing the guilt. 'I am sorry' is often hard to say if really meant, but that paves the way to lighten the load.

Rohit said...

I can understand the burden of Guilt... The moment you realize your guilt you are half way far to rectify it.

Have a great time!

storyteller said...

I agree with Sandy that ‘guilt is a heavy weight’ … and I’m not sure it serves anyone to ‘carry the burden’ indefinitely. I’ve actively worked for several years now -- to release both ‘guilt’ and ‘worry’ because both seem like serious energy drains. Recognizing and rectifying a wrong and then letting it go makes more sense to me.

As for the blogroll, I’m a relative ‘newbie’ … started just 18 weeks ago. Initially I tried visiting everyone listed but I soon adopted the strategy of starting HERE with your post and visiting those who commented. I’ve created a mini BYBS blogroll in my ‘reader’ and used it to watch for BYBS posts … visiting and commenting as I’m able … usually 5-7 folks per week. A couple of weeks I published belatedly, but I HAVE participated each and every week at Sacred Ruminations and I do make an effort to visit as time permits … sometimes throughout the week.
Hugs and blessings,

Whatever said...

Re: sites that do not BYBS

I would recommend:
1) create a new blogroll called "BYBS readers" or "all BYBS sites"

2) Copy the current blogroll to the new list.

3) Remove the sites that are no longer participating from the main list.

4) Add a note or a PS to the new blogroll that tells people to add themselves back to the main blogroll if they are posting.

5) Repeat every 3-12 months. That way sites that are no longer posting get a chance to start again, but people clicking on the main blogroll do not end up visiting sites that really do not have anything to do with BYBS.

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