February 19, 2006

What if......So what???

I have never been a great fan of self help books. I have never loved the idea of someone telling me what to do - even if its the right thing. Like most of us I like doing my own thing. And if it turns out to be a mistake, I, like most of us again, am only human.
Every day in our life there comes a moment when we want to do something but we dont. Like say, we want to ask a person out or ask our boss for a raise but instantly our brain throws up a What if...?
What if that person says no? or What if the boss says no and gets mad?
This happens to a lot of people I know, and then the thing never happens- gets nipped in the proverbial bud so to say.
To get over this we have to condition our brain to counter the what if with a so what.
The person says no...so what you were not with him or her in the first place; by going ahead and asking him/her out you are just increasing the probability of that happening.
The boss says no...so what ..you werent getting a raise anyways....you just might, if you ask for it ( Of course, this is assuming that you deserve a raise).
Now, when I set out to write this I had a- what if someone thinks this is a piece of nonsense?.... I countered it with a -So what.... someone might just like it and that would be worth the effort.


Anonymous said...

Very truly said. We must always b optimistic towards life. Worrying about results & not trying is insane rather.

If i'm nt wrong u r there in the H.P community(Orkut).
My self a second yr student at NIT Hamirpur. I do write blog but nt as gud as urs. do check it, and also let's get conected.
bye & happy blogging.

Sunil Parmar said...

I posted it with name but my comment is showing anonymous(previous comment). so myself Sunil Parmar, NIT Hamirpur.

my blog: www.weblogpage.com/s3094

Sunil Parmar said...

Just made an account at blogger.so you check me there.
Sunil Parmar

Anonymous said...

If we're afraid of tripping we'll never learn to dance.
It applies to every area of life--and your piece captured it very well. Good writing.

Anonymous said...

this is very true ,sometimes i find myself saying what if... i mean we face these situations in actual reality many times n there mere fact that i hesitate is as u said due to we ourselves anticipating others reactions ,but now im changing n like always one must go ahead n say what they want to say,one must do what they want to do after all u live just once right.u must in d end feel ive been there done that... good work n very well written i must say,keep it up i love reading ur blogs n do write ,dont ever stop it .u really have mastered the art of capturing what the common mind thinks n feels.

Vikram said...

Hi All,

I was actually amazed to c 5 comments being posted for this blog, but after opening this page I was a bit disappointed to c all 5 from the same person. I m not criticizing u for writing so many comments, but I m disappointed because such a worderful write could not fetch more comments. It has been written in the simplest of words and touch upon everybody's life. I have taken a note of it and I'll try to avoid such situations in future where I m forced to this "what if..." and I'll certainly say to myself "so what.." Thanks for this inspirational blog.......Blue Panther.

arbit said...

Yep....the fear lurking at the back of the mind arising out of the pain which comes along with rejections. The mind is a very cunning fellow really, sometimes it must be quietened and then when clear thinking results, the best decisions are made.

Deepa said...

First time here...cool blog!

We should visualize the results of our action before we act ...if we visualize a positive outcome and strongly believe in it,it will surely come true ...however impossible it might have seemed at first.

pushkala said...

wat if someone likes it?
reply :so wat ?

wat if none of them like it ?
reply : so wat ?

basically if u start looking out for other's approval ( in this case approval by virtue of his acceptance(liking))
then my dear friend ... i guess u must rewoird ur thought process.

the most elementary rule says u must luv watever u are up too !

Siberx said...

When i read you blog, i see my life, what if and so what is a time that you have to pass, i take a long time to do so, but now, i'm always so what, maybe it is like you say the time i spend on earth and the loose of manny occasions that did it. Like the blog i started recently, i ask myself, what if and the answer was, so what, and i just started the blog. I do not care anymore what people think about me, or on a verry low level, but since i think like that, i enjoy life more and do more what i wanne do. So, keep doing your blog, i like it a lot,



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