The Curious Incident of a Lizard in My Bathroom

I am an animal lover, and I am very sure about that fact. When I see an insect, or a reptile, on TV I marvel at, and appreciate, the beauty of mother nature. I love to see the animals going about doing their thing in their natural habitat. However, I am not so sure about my love for animals when they choose to abandon their natural habitat, and decide to enter my domain, my bathroom to be more precise. That, putting it in the most simplest terms, freaks me out.

But let me begin from the start. Yesterday, I came back to my room after a few games of Table Tennis (some might know the game as ping-pong). It is not a tiring game, but Delhi weather in May being what it is, I was sweating profusely. Uncomfortable as it was, it also made me look forward to a nice, cold shower.

I enter the bathroom, hang my towel and underwear on the rack, and then I let out, what I am pretty sure, was one of the loudest screams I have ever screamed. Of course there were some expletives thrown in, but those are best not repeated here. The reason for the scream was that just as I had hung up my towel, something had jumped out at me. For a moment I thought I was being attacked by an invisible force. I think watching too many episodes of LOST and HEROES can do that to a person.

However, I soon saw what had actually come out at me. It was the smallest lizard I had ever seen in my life; a baby lizard, I guess. Before I could think rationally, I had to ensure that the lizard was as far away from me as was possible within the confines of the small bathroom. That done, I had a good look at the lizard. Should I kill it? Should I throw it out? Should I let it be?

These were questions that sprung to my mind. Not surprisingly, I was reminded of the lines from D. H. Lawrence's poem Snake, "If you were not afraid, you would kill him!"

But unlike the hero in the poem, I am too kind, and I couldn't bear to kill the little thing. The fact that I was a bit scared of the lizard had nothing to do with my decision. If you think how anyone can be scared of a lizard, and that too a little one, I would only ask you to try and be with one in the confines of a bathroom, and that too a small one.

In the meanwhile, the lizard - as if reading my thoughts - started moving towards me. It was time for action.

I yelled, again.

It worked. The lizard quickly changed direction and tried to climb up one of the walls. I thought that it was good riddance as that wall had a window near the top. But, what is not meant to happen, does not happen. The baby lizard found it hard to cling on to the slippery wall.

I was praying for the lizard to get out, but it slipped and fell very close to my feet. I jumped, and I think some yelling was involved too. This time the lizard, instead of running in a different direction, came towards me. Maybe, it had decided to fight, rather than fly.

In some quick moves it came very close to me. I was standing there, waving my arms wildly, and making some sounds that can't be really described here for want of words. After a few seconds of arm waving, the lizard moved in the direction where lay my toothbrush, and paste, and soap, and shampoo, and conditioner and...well you get the picture.

I knew that if I saw a lizard walking over my stuff with my own eyes, I would have to throw all of that stuff out. That lizard was going to cost me quite a lot.

Now, money is a strange thing. It tends to strangle whatever slivers of kindness and ethics one has. It has the same effect on me. I decided that I had to kill that little devil.

But, when I looked around, I found that there was nothing around that I could use to kill the beast. Brave as I had suddenly become, I still could not imagine myself killing a lizard with my bare hands. Doesn't their tail fall off, or something. That thought by itself was enough to gross me out. Somehow I made my legs move in the direction of the lizard, and that had a magical effect.

The lizard scrambled away, faster than I had seen it move in all evening. It ran quickly, and fear , it seemed, helped it in climbing the wall this time. It climbed up to a safe distance. It did not go out, but it seemed to me that it had managed to reach a safe height - a height from where she could not hurt me. After observing it for some time, I decided that it had given up all intentions of attacking me. I decided to go ahead and take my shower.

All the while I was showering, my eyes were focused on the lizard. It was moving all the time, but thankfully it stayed at a safe distance. After I was done, I quietly stepped out and locked the door behind me. I had made sure that the thing did not come close to any of my stuff, before I stepped out.

I went out and had my dinner, but all the while I was thinking about the lizard in my bathroom. The food had lost its taste, and the after-dinner walk had to be cut short. I quickly came back to my room and carefully stepped into the bathroom. But the lizard was no where to be found. I checked everywhere, but the coast seemed to be clear. I was glad, but it also made me wonder where the thing had gone. Where would it turn up next?

I didn't have long to wonder for as I stepped on to the balcony, I saw it lazing on the outer wall. It made me smile as now I did not have to worry about a lizard showing up in my bed. The lizard seemed to be smiling too. I wondered if that was because it had seen me naked!