July 19, 2009

BYBS : The Others

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Most of us spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. It is all about me, myself and I. The questions we ask ourselves are: How could I do this, how could I achieve that? What makes me happy? What would make me happy? In a lecture, I once attended, the speaker said something about intrinsic motivation being more important than the extrinsic one. Even a lot of inspirational books tell us that we are the most important thing in our lives. Everywhere around us we find cues that make us believe that our world revolves around us, or, at least, it should.

I am no one to disagree. It is an undeniable fact that we have to pay utmost attention to ourselves. So many people, and so many books, can not be wrong, can they?

But, for a moment, think of a world where the only living person is you. You pay all the attention to yourself that you deserve. You do all the things that you have ever wanted to do. You become all that you have ever wanted to be. But, will that leave you satisfied? Happy, perhaps?

If I was to hazard a guess, I would say it will not.

Like it or not, our happiness is inextricably linked with the happiness of others. Be it in material terms, or spiritual ones, we need others to share our achievements, our victories, our failures, our losses with. There are times when we need others to guide us, and there are times when we need to guide others. There are times when we need to take from others, and there are times when we need to give to others. During such times if we don't have the others, we feel incomplete, and our lives cease to have a lot of meaning.

So, when others are such an important part of our lives, why do we ignore them? Because somewhere we begin to believe that if we succeed, the others will have no option but to like us. We believe that our achievements will guarantee that the others will be there when we need them - for giving or taking, as that case may be. But, it does not always happen that way.

I don't mean to undermine the importance of focusing on self in any way. To be a member of a strong society, every member needs to be strong. But, with this post, I intend to make you focus on that other, who may be needing you today - when you don't need him - so that the other can be there for someone else, or even you, when the time comes.


Whatever said...

An interesting point. We depend on each other not only for survival but for happiness as well.

CyberCelt said...

Great thoughts. Funny, I wrote on relationships as blessing today. No man is an island; nor woman either. Have a great week.

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