Innocence, Lost!

When we are born we are all sweet and simple.

Then, we start growing up.

As we begin the process of growing up, we start losing our innocence. We begin to believe that all that is sweet and simple is childish and needs to be done away with. In the beginning, an individual enjoys the process of  growing up, especially the guilty pleasures that are associated with the first sins. With time, however, the pleasure aspect begins to diminish, and  the guilt part becomes powerful until  there comes a time when a deep yearning for return to innocence takes birth in the heart.

Today is a "Present"

Life has a way of continuously making us realise things. Most of the times, we are already aware of these things, but we conveniently choose to ignore them, until they come to stare us right in the face.

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk, writing something, and all of a sudden I found myself searching for a word. A word that I could faintly recognize on the horizon, but couldn't clearly make out. It was a weird feeling. Quite like a dream, where you are being attacked and you want to scream, or hit back, or do anything at all, but you simply can't.

Fifteen Years Ago...

We all like to believe that as we grow up we learn new things. If someone asks us, we accept unhesitatingly - with some pride even - that we made some mistakes, but we insist that these mistakes were necessary as they were an integral part of the learning process which makes us what we are today. If someone were to tell us that we have not learnt anything from our past mistakes, we are sure to take offence. To accept that we don't learn from our mistakes is to accept that we are not as smart as we like to think we are.

It might, however, be true. As much as we may want to believe that today we are better at living our lives than we were, say, fifteen, or twenty years ago, it might not be true. It is a possibility that we may just be living our lives without actually benefiting from the experience.

I say this because, recently, I came across this question: "If you were able to go back in time and get a few minutes to spend with the person you were fifteen years ago, what would you tell the young yourself?"

To Err Is Human...

I am not perfect. Far from it, I have more failings than your average guy. Yet - and I have said this in many of my earlier posts - I hope to get rid of these failings someday,and get as close to being perfect as I can. I think being perfect is achievable, and everyone should aim for it.

The biggest obstacle in achieving this comes from the society itself. The society wants us to be good, but when anyone starts becoming good, the society begins to get threatened by that person, and thus they begin to thwart his or her attempts in getting better. And when faced with the opposition of the society itself, most of us give up our attempts to become unique, and fall in line with what is generally accepted.

To take an example, let us consider the oft-quoted, and widely accepted, idiom: "To err is human, to forgive divine". I am sure all of us have used this phrase at one time or another.

I completely agree with the statement. But, I also think that this statement has a hidden meaning too, which stops us from improving ourselves.

When we make a mistake, we usually realise it. When we realise it, we get angry with ourselves for making the mistake. We are not happy that we made the mistake, and perhaps we would have been determined not to make that mistake ever again, but then we think, "To err is human...", and that is the end of all our troubles. For, aren't we human? If we are then making the mistake was just a normal thing, that was bound to happen. Wasn't it?

Similarly, we all know that forgiving someone is one of the hardest thing to do. I have still not forgiven a guy who I had a fight with in school, almost fifteen years ago. I am sure all of us have someone that we have not, or cannot, forgive. I am sure we try, but then we think,"To forgive is divine...". And who are we to try and claim to be divine.

What I have said above is merely an example of how the society has come to accept, and propagate, mediocrity. Instead of helping us trying to become the best we can, it makes us believe that we are good as we are, with all our weaknesses and faults. Now, I am not saying that there is an ideal, or a perfect being, that we all should try to follow or become like. All I am saying that we should be comfortable with ourselves, and our faults, but we should not get too comfortable and we should constantly strive to improve ourselves. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

What do you think?

Happy New Year 2009

Happy New Year to all readers of The Blue Panther Experience.

I am not sure if you would want to know where and how I spent My New Year's Eve, but I am going to tell you anyways.

I spent it in a bus. It was very cold and adding to my cup of woes was the fact that in my hurry to leave I had picked a sweater that was still wet from the washing. How was I feeling? I will let your imagination decide that, because words, at least decent ones, fail me when I start to think about how I felt.

But, I am glad it was the last day of 2008. I reached home at 4 AM in the morning, and went to bed. I woke up to 2009 in a warm and a comfortable bed, so I think 2009 is going to be a good year.

But then again, no year is good, or bad for that matter. It is what you do in the year that decides whether the year is going to be a good one or not. And one of the things I do every year is make a list of new year resolutions. How long I manage to keep them is another matter altogether, but I do make the list every year.

This year the list got pretty long. I guess it is because of some new things I learned this year, and some bad habits that I might have caught over the last few years. Whatever the reason might be, the fact is that the list got pretty long, and I am not going to burden you with it.

I am although going to talk about a couple of resolutions with respect to my blogging. I was looking up the number of posts I wrote in 2007 and 2008. The number in 2008 was almost half the number in 2007. Not only that, after a brief run through the posts, I felt that the quality of posts in 2008 had definitely gone down. Look from whatever perspective, a decline in both quality and quantity can not be a good thing. Some things need to be changed over here.

So, I decided one of my resolutions is going to be : Blog more, write better!

What are your blogging resolutions for 2009?

Well Begun is...

Well begun is half done, they tell me. And I can't help but agree with what they say.

After all if you don't start a thing, you can't expect to finish it, can you? So, just by having a beginning, the chances of having an ending are increased manifold. If the beginning is good, the probability of the ending being good will be greater too.

But, like most things, there is a rider to this theory. Starting things is not all that difficult; keeping them going till the intended finish is an altogether different story(...as I have found out in the recent past). The time available to us is fixed - 24 hours in one day - and what we can do in this time is limited. Out of the one million and one things we can do in this time, we have to choose a few, and this choice has to be judicious.

When we start a lot of things, our time gets divided into so many parts that sometimes all we end up doing is waste the whole day. And out of the many things we started, nothing gets done!

So, though well begun is half done, it would be wise to remember that one who starts too many things gets nothing done.

The Good Old Times!

Meeting someone from the distant past is always good. It brings back memories of times that have long gone by, times that have faded even in our rememberances. Last night, at a friend's place, I happened to see a familiar face in a sea of almost strange faces.

It did not take long for me to realise where I had seen the face - she was a teacher from my school. I wanted to go up to her and wish her a good day, but I wasn't sure if she would recognise me. So, I almost avoided meeting her.

Then my friend came to the rescue. We both had attended the same school, and he had been in touch with the teacher through the years. The teacher did not recognise me until my friend re-introduced me.

But once she did remember, we had a good time talking about the good old school days. I think for anyone who has gone to school, it is imposible to forget those days. There is not much to worry about and the responsibilities are minimum (though, back then, it didn't seem that way).

When one is in school, one just wants to grow up as soon as possible, get a job, and be released from the boring routine of going to school every day. If one knew what the life of a grown up is, he or she would never want to get out of school. Don't you think?

Life is like a white sheet

Bad habits usually sneak in upon us. By the time we realize that we have developed a bad habit, it is too late to get rid of the habit easily. It takes quite an effort to get rid of it.

Anyone who has tried to quit smoking, drinking or gambling knows what I mean. And long after one has quit, there still remains a strong chance of a relapse.

But, let us say, a person has no bad habits, or has got rid of any bad habits that he had. So, this person feels that he has a right to a better deal in life because he does nothing wrong. Sounds quite fair too, no?

I think not. Merely not doing anything wrong is not enough. It is also important to do something right.

If one does not do anything wrong, nor anything right, he is merely wasting the time he has been given on this earth, So, it is important that you do something, and do it right.

Another thing that is a bit strange is that as you begin to do things the right way, living seems to become a little harder.

Life is, I feel, like a white sheet. Bad habits are like spots on the sheet. If you have many bad habits, you have a dirty sheet, and on that spotted sheet, the smaller bad habits get ignored as the major spots become the centre of attention. But as you get rid of the major spots, the smaller spots seem just as bad or even worse. So, the cleaner your sheet gets, the harder you have to work on keeping it clean. Doesn't seem fair, but that is the way it is.

The choice to have a clean sheet, or a dirty one, is yours. What will you choose?

Despair, or Hope?

Any given situation can be perceived in two ways : optimistically, or pessimistically.

I read somewhere that given a choice between hope and despair, most people often choose despair. I was surprised to read that, because, to me, it seems natural that a person, when given a choice, should chose hope over despair. But, when I looked around me I realised that there wase truth in writer's claim.

In life things rarely happen the way we want them to. There is always many a slip between the cup and the lip. And over a period of time our experiences begin to tell us that there is a greater chance of us failing, than succeeding. So, we begin to expect failure. And if we are expecting failure, the desire to succeed, instead of raging like a wild fire, gets extinguished. It is a vicious circle indeed.

But I feel that regardless of what has happened in the past, one should always look at the future with hope. Ofcourse the mistakes of the past should not be forgotten or ignored. One should learn his or her lesson from the mistakes, and move on --without losing hope. For, however dark the night may be, morning always follows it.

How do you look at the future? With hope, or despair?

"Down, but not out" or "I'm Back!"

A whole week has passed since my last post. I did not intend to have a break this long between my last post and this one, but a lot of things happened in this past week and I was quite busy. I had known that I would be busy, but I had hoped to write on the blog as per my schedule. But, then something else happened on the personal front and I, eventually, decided that I am going to post only when I really feel like it.

For the last three days I was out of town, and as a result I was away from a computer.

But, now, I am back...and I am going to blog as per the regular schedule on this blog (which, if you didn't know, is three times a week i.e. Sunday , Tuesday or Wednsday and Friday or saturday). The issues that have been pulling me down lately are still not gone, but I am sure that just like calm returns to the seas after a violent storm, calm will return to my life too.

Why I need to move to a different town?

As soon as I sit down comfortably on the barber's chair, there is only one thing that I can think of.

How much am I going to tip him today? Do I need to tip him at all?( though this question became quite irrelevant when I tipped him for the first time. You can't stop tipping someone after you have tipped them once, can you?)

The barber is extra nice today, and I can't help but wonder : is it because he is nice by nature or is it because of my hefty tip last time?

Then the dreaded thought : If I don't tip him enough this time, is he going to nip me with his scissors? or maybe do something even worse? (Fear breathes a new life into one's imagination.)

"But, the last time the tip was extravagant, I can't afford that every time," I say to myself.

So, I am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, or the barber's scissors and a 50 Rupee note, and I am quickly deciding as to which of the two is the lesser evil...

"Are you happy with the result, sir?" the barber asks, and interrupts my reverie.

Without admitting that without my spectacles, I can hardly make out whether it is his head, or mine, that I see in the mirror, I say, "Yeah, that's great!"

I get up, pay for the hair cut, and then I turn around to face the barber. This is the moment of truth. I reach into my pocket.

The hand wants to draw the note out of the pocket, but the mind says,"No, it is too much!"

There is a fierce battle and, as usually happens, the mind wins over matter and I smile at the barber and walk out of the shop without taking the hand out of my pocket.

So, now I am thinking of moving to a different town as I am running out of barbers in my own town. Know any town with good barbers?

Why I like Superheroes

While watching "Superman Returns" I realised something that I have always known. I like Superheroes and their stories.

Superheroes wear great costumes, they have great bodies, they can jump from buildings without getting hurt, some of them can even fly...but none of that is the reason why I like them.

I like superheroes because, for me, they are a great example of how a person should lead his life. Most superheroes are ordinary people, living an ordinary life, until fate decides to bestow great powers on them. When they become superheroes they have to make great sacrifices on the personal front for the general good of the world.

While I understand that these are mere flights of fantasy, yet I also feels that there is a superhero inside all of us. This superhero is always telling us to act nobly and in a selfless way, but the practical part of us stifles the voice of this superhero and makes us act in a slightly selfish manner.

Every time we do that, the superhero inside us dies a little. Every time we listen to the superhero, he becomes a little stronger and our powers increase. If we can do the right thing every time (almost impossible to do), I am sure each one of us can become a superhero; Maybe not in the flying-jumping from windows-superman sense, but in the sense of you acting in a manner that gives great satisfaction to you, and those who dearly love you.

I am not sure everyone who reads this will agree with the viewpoint, but it definitely motivates me to act in the right way (though, to be honest, I often fail to do the right thing).

Moreover, there are so many problems in the world, that one superhero would never be enough to take care of all of them. That is another reason why each one of us should try and solve the problems that we see around us. Each one of us has a unique power that we can use to help someone, and we should.

So, I like superheroes, because they remind me of the superhero inside me and inside every one else. They also remind me that the best person to solve my problems and the problems around me...is me.

Hard Work Vs. Luck

A debate as old as the hills is whether it is hard work or luck that determines whether a person will be successful or not. Shakespeare put it quite succinctly, when he wrote, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. "

I, myself, have taken different sides at different times when talking about the subject with friends. And I have realized that it is possible to give strong arguments, with suitable examples, in both cases.

But, looking at the issue from a different perspective, it can be said that luck is something that is a given. There is nothing much a person can do to change his or her luck.

The only thing that a person has some degree of control over is the way he acts. Most of the times we get what we really want, because then we work hard towards getting that thing. Hard Work might not get you to the desired end every time, but it will highly increase your chances of getting there every time.

So, I feel that between hard work and luck, it is hard work that we should focus upon, simply because it is the thing that we can actually do. If we do our part, I am sure luck will play it's role and get us whatever it is that we want. What say you?

A New Dawn...

Lying on his deathbed, he looked around. Everyone he loved, or cared about, was there. His life was a life well lived.

Or was it?

All his life, he had run after things that others said he could never have. In the beginning people laughed at him for trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But his perseverance and determination had helped him get most things that he had wanted. The mouths that laughed at him earlier, now opened wide in his praise.

Yet, his desires never let him stop. From one goal to another, his entire life was devoted to pursuit of tangible things, things that he thought would satisfy him. But he was never satisfied. All that he achieved only served as fodder for future dreams and aspirations. He was tired, but he could never stop. Everyone expected so much from him. He could not fail others. More importantly, he did not want others to think that he was a failure. Sometimes, he felt that no one cared if he failed or succeeded, yet he was never willing to take that chance.

Now, on his deathbed, he suddenly felt that his life was spent in vain. In order to achieve his targets, he had forgotten to live his life. He felt he had lived his life like a machine, programmed to do certain things. Those things he had done well, but what he had missed out on were the things that made him human. He felt desperate, and wanted to scream. He would do anything to get one chance to live his life all over again...

...And then he woke up. The rays of a new sun were streaming in through the window, and his eyes were shining bright with a different kind of awareness.

Which side would you take?

Last evening, in conversation with a friend, the topic of corruption in the society came up. He was of the opinion that corruption has become deeply embedded in our society and now there is nothing that can be done about it.

He painted a really dreadful picture, and for one moment I agreed with him. But then I thought about it and realised that though I hear about corruption everywhere, yet I have never ever seen it in real life. Thinking about it some more, I felt that for some reason we look at things in a way, which makes them appear worse than they actually are.

Then, we tell ourselves that things are so bad that one person can not make a difference. And thus we give ourselves some latitude to do wrong; not some great wrong, but a little lie here, and a little one there.

So, it would be better if we were to assume that things are not really all that bad, but good, and getting better every day. And that every little good we do counts towards making it better.

I said all this, and more, but my friend would not be convinced. We argued about it for some time but in the end decided to call a truce with none of the sides aggreeing with the other. If you were there, what side would you take?

In Pursuit of Perfection

The festivities of the New Year are finally over and life has, once again, fallen into routine mode. Now, there are two ways of looking at the New Year. The first is to realise that almost 1% of 2008 has already passed us by and soon it will be 2009. The second is to feel that 99% of 2008 is still to go, and there is a lot that can be done in this time. But, I digress...

Since this is the first post of 2008, I feel it is imperative to talk about resolutions. I am sure most of us make many resolutions every year; some that we are able to keep and some that we are not. When we are not able to keep these resolutions, we are sometimes frustrated by the futility of making resolutions in the first place. But, resolve we must, because resolutions are a sign that we are willing to change, and change for the better.

Before I continue let me tell you what my resolution for 2008 is.

I started out with many resolutions for 2008, and then I realised that my resolution for 2008 is simply : "The pursuit of perfection"

We are often told, "Nobody is perfect" and " To err is human," and there are many proverbs and idioms that say something to the same effect.

So, should we let these be an excuse for us not to try and attain that state that we call perfection. Maybe it is not achievable, yet would it hurt to try?

Let us say there is a scale, and a MAN, like you and me, is a 0 on that scale and a perfect man is a 100. The MAN is told - again and again - that he can never reach 100. So what should he do?

I say, he should try and get to 100. If he doesn't get there; he was never expected to. If he does, he gets the last word, and the last laugh. But the point is that even if he doesn't get to a 100 he will get to a number that will be greater than zero. And that will be a life well lived.

So, what is your resolution for 2008?

How old are your friends

It is often said that birds of a feather flock together. We choose our friends who have similar likes and dislikes as us, and who, in all probability, are in the same age group as us. This is quite natural, and happens without any conscious thinking on our part. But what I feel is that every one should try and have friends of all ages.

Growing up is a weird process. We can never understand what it is like to be 30, when we are 20. And when we are 30, we wish we had known at 20 what we know then. Mark Twain said that if at twenty someone does not want to change the world, he has no heart, and if at 30, he still wants to change the world he has no brain. That is so true.

But to be truly smart, one has to find the right balance between the heart and the brain; between the maturity that comes from age, and the vigour that characterises youth. And to do that, it is a good idea to have friends of different age groups, because humans learn best by example. We can be told stories and incidents, but nothing affects us like something that we have seen with our own eyes.

So, by constant interaction with people of different ages , we are constantly reminded of what has been, what is, and what will be. This reminder keeps us from being too sure of ourselves just because we are young, or from dwelling on the past too much just because a lot of years have passed us by.

Don't you agree? Do you have friends of all ages, or are most of your friends your age?

We, The People

The most important aspect of democracy is the election process. Unless the election process is free and fair, there is little or no chance a democracy is going to survive for long. India is often considered to be a good example of the way democracy should function, but if the founding fathers of Indian constitution were living today they would undoubtedly have hung their heads in shame.

The main reason for that would be the opportunism that has crept into politics today. It is the easiest thing to blame politicians for all that is wrong with any political system. But, the fault lies with us, the voters, more than anyone else.

The politician is merely doing what he knows will get him the most votes. It is the people who vote who have to rise above their own vested interests and vote for someone who will be good for the society as a whole.

I have brought up this subject of elections today because today Himachal Pradesh, the state I live in, goes to polls. There has been intense political campaigning in the state in the last few days, but the focus it seems has not been on development but on which party has done the greater wrong. And what is even more surprising - at least to me - is that most people I have talked to either will not vote, or will vote for reasons that can not be called impartial.

This, I feel, absolves the politician of most of the blame.

If, We, the people, will not be judicious in choosing the right candidate to vote for, how can we expect to have a good government? If we don't vote, how can we expect to have any government at all?